


Quarantined Together

by KittyKitty707



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Blood and Injury, Coronavirus pandemic, Coughing, Domestic, Fear, Friendship, Implied Relationships, M/M, Medical Experimentation, Mild Blood, Pain, Repressed Memories, Sad and Happy, Sick Character, Surgery, Unconsciousness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26387338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyKitty707/pseuds/KittyKitty707
Summary: When Gordon was able to bring all his AI companions out of his computer and into the real world, it seemed like nothing could go wrong, and yet something did. With the Coronavirus pandemic taking hold of the world, all of the Science Team & co are forced to be responsible and stay inside during this hard time. Fortunately, they all live in apartments in the same building, meaning they are all in the same bubble. Unfortunately, they only had enough money to rent four apartments for the time being, meaning Gordon will have to share an apartment with...Benrey.
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby & Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 150





	1. Sweet Red

#  Quarantined Together 

## Sweet Red

"Since everything is in place on your end, we can move forwards with things on our side.", Dr.Coomer announced into the microphone. He turned around, stating "Alright Benrey, it's your turn now.".  
Benrey hopped down off of the box in the corner he had perched on. He complained as he slowly approached, whining "Damn, why do I gotta go first. Gotta be the fuckin lab rat now.”  
Bubby began to snap back but was soon interrupted by a disembodied voice. “You know well enough why your going first you-”  
“Because you tried to fucking kill us inside of some damned hell dimension? You remember that Benrey? Because we sure as hell do”,Gordon Freeman snapped.  
The room went silent for a moment, with everyone awkwardly glancing at Benrey.  
Bubby butted in with, “You’re also the only one of us who we know for sure can never fucking die, so if we fuck it up, you’ll be fine.”  
This only made the room more awkward. Benrey groaned and crossed his arms, stomping over to the chair in front of Dr. Coomer, and sat down, grumbling.  
“Idiot feetman. Can’t fucking believe it.”

The four scientists began placing small pads and devices all over Benrey, and Tommy stopped for a moment to comfort Benrey.  
“Don’t worry, you won’t feel a thing. It’ll be as easy as sipping lemonade through a silly straw!”  
Benrey was not very comforted by the comment, but gave a thankful look anyway. Suddenly, someone lifted the helmet off Benrey’s head, to which he protested. “Hey! C’mon guys, don’t do that…”, he pleaded, genuinely upset.

“Whoops, sorry!”, Darnold stammered. “We have to attach some of the nodes to your head so… oh wow!” Darnold pointed at Benrey’s hair, to which everyone looked in surprise. The edges were pitch black , but the farther back portions had no texture. Dr.Coomer commented on how it was intriguing.  
“No…Stop! Give me that back!” he demanded, snatching back the helmet. Everyone shook it off quickly and Bubby gave a rare comment of assurance to his friend.  
“Look Benrey, we all have secrets. You can keep it on your lap but we're gonna need it off for this to work. You won’t need it anyways where we’re going.”  
Benrey lightly nodded and the work continued, with Bubby and Dr.Coomer doing most of the hard work, while Tommy and Darnold helped with the simpler areas. They strapped him into the chair, which soon began to look like something that used to be used for executions. Benrey felt a sharp pain in his arm and winced. Bubby was pulling a needle out of his arm.  
“I just injected you with drugs! It should probably prevent any possible pain from being felt! That is as long as this is what Darnold told me it was!”Bubby hissed at Darnold. Darnold stuck his tongue out at Bubby. This interaction made Benrey feel even less confident in the experiment. 

After about ten more minutes of strapping, placing and poking, it was ready. Dr.Coomer gave the signal to Gordon to start up on his side when he finished a count down. Dr.Coomer stood in front of Benrey and began instructing him on what to do.

“From our tests, when we activate the machines, you should be transported in to a void where you will see a silhouette of a body in front of you. Reach out and grab onto it, and drag yourself into it! After this, everything should be good and well! You will be out there, and the experiment will be a success!”

Benrey nodded in acknowledgement. He was very nervous, but he didn’t know why. He couldn’t die, probably even in the real world, so why was he so scared? 

“Alright boys! Lets do this!”Bubby exclaimed, and a loudspeaker began counting down. Benrey shut his eyes and held his breath.

“10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1”

The loudspeaker cut off before it reached zero. He opened his eyes to see he was floating in a large void. He was no longer tied down, but his helmet was missing. There were numbers off in the far distance and he was flowing in the middle of a dark neon blue stream of information, as if it was some sort of test tube stretching upwards and downwards to infinity. He could see other infinite streams off in the distance with glowing neon silhouettes, and he counted them all. One purple, one orange, one brown, one bright green, one teal, one yellow and one khaki. There were two streams different from the others, the one closet to the left of him and the one right in front of him. The stream to the left was dark orange, but had no silhouette, and the stream in front of him was blue like Benrey’s but the silhouette was filled with static. He peered around once more before reaching out of the stream towards the other silhouette. It was very close, so he didn’t have to reach far to grab it.The void made his arms feel a little tingly, but it wasn’t anything too bad. And then he grabbed on.

He could feel every atom in his body at once, and everything was on fire.  
Benrey never felt much pain before, as he could usually just turn the pain receptors off, but that wasn’t working now.  
Every cell felt like it was being torn in half and being put back together in an instant.  
He couldn’t breath, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t move.  
He couldn't feel the usual connections he felt to xen or to his skeletons.  
All he felt was nothingness and unbearable pain.  
All in the same instant.  
Through the pain, he tried to think.  
He tried to do anything.  
Anything but be in pain.  
He could only get through one thought.  
One action to properly process.  
Scream.

“What the fuck…? Not this fuckin thing again.” Benrey heard Gordon groggily whisper as Benrey convulsed in pain. Gordon had opened Benrey’s bedroom door to investigate the noise. He couldn’t speak, as the pain continued steadily. He stopped screaming and began to cry and cough.

“Usually you stop screaming by now so what’s the…”, Gordon switched on his phone light to see what was happening better. “…Holy shit! Oh god! What the fuck!”  
Benrey looked down in-between the waves of pain at his hands and saw bright red liquid dripping from his mouth onto his hands with each cough. The pain returned and he fell over into the fetal position. “Holy fuck!” Gordon yelled as he ran out of the room. After a couple minutes, which felt like hours, Gordon returned, dropping his phone down on this bed beside them, and handing him some paper towels to clean himself up. After he shakily wiped himself down, Gordon put his hands on Benrey’s shoulders and tried to look him in the eyes. “You ok buddy?”. Benrey couldn’t help himself and grabbed at Gordon as the pain began again. Gordon sighed but didn't pull away. "It's gonna be okay."Gordon spoke gently as he patted his back. He looked down at the phone illuminating the room and saw Gordon had been texting Tommy. He read through the pain, and only after realized why Gordon had been so concerned.

4:37 am

Gordon: Tommy  
Gordon: Tommy are you awake  
Gordon: Tommy this is an emergency  
Tommy: Yes, I am awake  
Tommy: Dads having a hard time again tonight. Something wrong with Benrey?  
Gordon: I don’t know how but he did it  
Gordon: He couldn’t do it before now but he just did it  
Gordon: He did the sweet voice  
Gordon: Theres a lotta red  
Gordon: Tommy its every where  
Gordon: what’s it mean  
Tommy: Oh no  
Gordon: OH NO WHAT  
Tommy: Thats not good  
Tommy: Thats not good  
Tommy: Dad says he’s not meant to sleep much so that’s probably why its happening  
Gordon: Tommy WHATS IT MEAN

Benrey looked above him to see familiar glowing spheres above him, illuminating neon red.

Tommy: Red Rain means I’m in pain


	2. Tommy Likes Mean People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon has to go to work, so Tommy comes to watch over Benrey while he recuperates. Hijinks ensue.

#  Quarantined Together 

## Tommy Likes Mean People

"One cup of warm peppermint tea with lots of honey.”,Gordon Freeman stated as he placed the glass on his coffee table. "It always makes me feel better when I'm feeling under the weather." He gently patted Benrey on the shoulder and walked over towards the door. He pulled a lab coat out of his closet and slipped it on. 

“Aye aye Doctor Feetman.” coughed Benrey. His hoarse voice forced Gordon to crack a laugh. “” It only lasted a moment. Gordon turned around and walked back past the sofa to his desk, grabbing a briefcase and notes. “I called Tommy. He’ll be here in a couple of minutes. He says he can watch you till you feel better.” Gordon walked back to grab a pen off the coffee table in front of the couch when Benrey grabbed his coat sleeve. Gordon looked up in surprise. Benrey was wearing a long beanie hat and baggy clothes, swaddled in a bed blanket. He was obviously sleep deprived, and he still had bits of red sweet voice on his cheek.

“Gordon, are we still friends?”

His pale eyes stared deep into his soul. He sharply pulled his arm away and quickly walked to the door. “I’ll be back in by seven,” he stated before he quickly shut the door.

“That hurts man.”

Benrey sat in the silence for several minutes, staring down at his hand. The soft click of the door lock startled him. A tall thin man in a pinwheel hat stepped through and knocked on the door as he entered. “Hello? Benrey?”

“Over here.” Benrey groaned from the couch. Tommy grinned and walked over to the couch. He stood in front of Benrey and inspected him. His smile turned sour. “You don’t look good.” Benrey tried to stand.

“No shit sher-” Benrey coughed heavily as Tommy supported him from collapsing. “Don’t push yourself. Please, sit.” Benrey plopped back down on the couch, and Tommy gently patted him on the head before walking into the kitchen. He took his hat off and placed it onto the counter. He opened the fridge and grabbed out a drink, asking “Soda?”. Benrey shook his head and lifted up his glass of tea. “Nah, the good doctor gave me a potion.” Tommy walked back over to the couch and sat down. “I didn’t know that Darnold was-” 

“No no no. It’s …Gordon.” The mere mention of his name made Benrey a bit blue. He sipped quietly as Tommy noticed the tension in the room. Tommy had to change the subject. 

“That’s a nice hat you’ve got on.” Benrey smiled. “Thanks, Tommy.” Benrey never did like to show off his hair. Even with it now being all black, the past embarrassment still persisted. It was a reminder of his past. A past was something they both shared.

“Benrey, do you remember the first time we met?” 

“Of course man. How could I ever?” Benrey began.

“Run kiddo, run!” The voices encouraged Benrey as he climbed over the chain-link fence. The cheering got farther and farther away as he fled through the desert sand. It was midnight and the darkness made it hard to see anything in front of him. All he could see was blackness. He kept running and running for what seemed to be hours until the inevitable happened.  
He tripped. The landing was hard, almost winding himself in the process. He shook the dust off and looked up to see… a tall lanky teen holding a ball. His eyes glowed neon green and seemed to pry into him. He froze in terror.

“Hey.You wanna play some catch?”

“Wha..what? You're not gonna kill me?”

The teen was quite upset by his words. “Why would I ever do that?” He squatted down and put out a hand. “I’m Tommy, what’s your name?” He reached out for his hand. “My name is…”

“…Benrey! He plays with me! Sometimes we drink soda together!” The suited man towered over them both. He cowered behind Tommy’s legs and held his hand tightly.

The man in the suit bent down and looked at him. “Come here, child. I’m not going to hurt you.” Benrey squeezed Tommy’s hand tighter and retracted away. Tommy looked down kindly. “My dad's not going to hurt you. You can trust him if you trust me.” Benrey gently released Tommy’s hand and stepped forwards nervously. 

“But the men in the white…they say I’m evil and that I’m mean.”

The man chuckled. “If you’re mean, I’m the meanest of them all. And you know, Tommy?”

“And what was it that dad said?” Tommy inquired.

“He said Tommy likes mean people. And then he put his hand on my shoulder and got all weird and spooked. Still cracks me up.” They laughed for a moment, but the laughter soon faded. 

“Tommy, I wanna go back.” Tommy was surprised. “You miss Black Mesa?” He shook his head. “Nah, man. I miss the Xen. I miss my helmet and my skeletons and the sweet voice and….I miss it, man, that’s all.” Tommy wasn’t sure what to do. He honestly missed the game world too, but he knew was much more adjusted to being human than Benrey could ever be. How could he help him? His dad had said that making him more mentally stable would probably help him physically, so how could he help? How could he…

“I’ve got it!” Tommy jumped up and started rummaging around near Gordon’s desk. “What are ya doing?” Benrey puzzled. He noticed that the tea and talking seemed to have helped, as he could now walk normally. He wandered over, still covered in the comforter. “There it is!” Tommy pulled a box out from underneath the desk. He handed the box to Benrey and began fiddling with the computer. Inside the box was a VR headset, two controllers, and two padded gloves. “We are gonna put you back in! Kinda. Like Mr.Freeman was!” He picked up the gloves and showed them to Benrey. “Mr.Freeman told me about these after he bought them. They letcha feel stuff with your hands!” He looked into Benrey’s eyes. “Do you want to give it a try?” Benrey paused and then nodded. Might as well give it a try. What could go wrong?

It took nearly a half an hour before Tommy had everything set up. He may have been into biology, but he sure knew computers. “Ok, so I’ve put your old character model on the player and if everything works, you’ll be in Xen. Does that sound good to start?” “Yeah man, that’s great!” Tommy smiled happily. “Ok! Now put the gloves on, then the headset!” Tommy was visibly shaking with excitement but it may have also partially been due to the six sodas he had finished. 

As Benrey finished with the gloves, he slipped off his hat and on the headset. “What do you see?” It was Xen in all its glory. He may no longer have been as large as he was back during the game, but that didn’t seem to matter. “I’m home.” He gently trilled. He could feel the coarseness of the ground, the texture of the pillars. As he moved around the cavern, he spotted something in a corner. One of his skeletons was wandering around. He moved over and tried to connect with it. It only stared strangely at him in response. It forced him to remember that he couldn’t communicate with them anymore. This made him remember the things he wanted to forget. Sure, he could feel the ground and the walls, but he couldn’t feel Xen anymore. There was a gaping hole in him were those connections should have been. He began to feel his anxiety building. He put his hands up to feel his helmet, to try to calm himself down. 

“Benrey, what’s wrong? Benrey?”

“I-I’m fine! Everything’s fine!”

He could feel it on his head. It was back. Everything was gonna be okay. But then he pressed a little harder and his hands went through the helmet, right onto the sides of the headset. He wasn’t really there was he. He was never going to be able to go back.

Tommy watched in fear as Benrey began to hyperventilate. He was obviously having a panic attack. Benrey grabbed onto the headset and fell over onto his knees. “It’s not real! None of this was ever real!” He hugged himself and began to cough up floating red balls of light. He yelled out in pain. “I want to go back!”

Benrey suddenly felt someone grab onto him. Tommy was hugging him. “Just breathe Benrey. Breathe.” The coughing and red sweet voice began to subside as he let himself go limp. “Why…why do you care about me, Tommy?”

“Because you're my friend. You will always be my friend.” 

“But I fucking tried to kill you, man.”

“You had too. It was part of the game. I knew you didn’t want to hurt me from the start. You wouldn’t let them hurt me, and you didn’t want to shoot back. You even tried to get us to not fight you, to go back. We should be apologizing for killing you.”

“No no no. I hurt you and I hurt Gordon and Bubby and-”

“And we're all okay now. We all forgive you. You saw how happy we were when we saw you were still alive. Well…except for Mr.Freeman. I think he has some sort of grudge against you. But even he still cares. If he didn’t care, he would have left you there in pain. If he didn’t care, I wouldn’t be here, watching you.”

Tommy let go of Benrey and removed the headset gently. Benrey was crying, but he wasn’t coughing or in pain anymore. He looked embarrassed. “Stupid shit making me fuckin cry.”

He put his hands on Benrey’s shoulders.“I’ll always be here for you buddy. We're as close as peanut butter and jelly. Alright?”

Benrey smiled up at Tommy. “Alright.”

“If you need anything else, remember, I’m just down the hall.” Tommy picked his hat up off the table and went to leave. 

“Wait, Tommy, now that I think of it…” Tommy paused at the door. He looked back at Benrey in the kitchen. “Do you remember me going on a trip with Gordon as a kid, like ever? To a beach?”

Tommy thought for a moment before shaking his head. “No, I took you everywhere and you never went to a beach. Black mesa was the first time we met Mr.Freeman.”

Benrey nodded thanks and Tommy left. He knew Tommy was wrong. He knew he had met Gordon Freeman somewhere before the game. But when?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I do have a small injury so it makes these take longer than I want them to. Please feel free to leave comments and to make art of it as long as you credit me, so I can send it love!
> 
> For those who might be concerned: Dr.Freeman and the science team are all technically following guidelines for a pandemic by all being in one big bubble together. When they go out or see anyone else they wear masks and such, but when they are together they do not.


	3. Problems and Solutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey is getting worse, so the science team has to look for a solution and do it fast. However, the person who might have the answers they need is probably not the person they want to ask...

#  Quarantined Together 

## Problems and Solutions

Benrey gently sipped a spoonful of the pots liquid. It was a bit too salty for his liking, so he added a little bit of water into the pot to tone the saltiness down. He and Gordon had recently discovered this hidden talent of his, which was his ability to cook well. This was surprising as Benrey mostly ate prepared food and soda back at Black Mesa. Because of this, he now had the job of making dinner every night while Gordon went to work. He tasted the pot again but realized there was now too little flavor in it. It tasted like tomato water. He grabbed a knife and began to chop some vegetables into the pot. 

Benrey thought for a moment before he gently chuckled and mumbled to himself “Heh, soup water.”

“Soup what?”

Benrey, startled, spun around and instinctively stabbed the person behind him. Gordon stumbled back and looked down at his right forearm in horror. He must have come home while Benrey was distracted by making dinner. Benrey dropped the knife as Gordon bled from a small, wide cut. “Fuck man, oh my god. I stabbed you, bro!” Benrey grabbed onto his hair as Gordon tried to press down onto the wound. 

He tried to maintain his cool, assuring, “I’ll be okay Benrey, please, just go get my first aid kit from the bathroom.” Benrey grabbed onto his face and shook his head. “No no no, I gotta fix this man!” He grabbed onto Gordon's arm with his right hand and grabbed his chest with the other. Gordon stood still in shock while Benrey cleared his throat.

Teal green balls of light flowed out of Benrey’s mouth and onto the wound as he sang. As the wound closed and disappeared, the light began to turn red and he began to cough heavily. Benrey let go and tried to stand, but stumbled, almost falling. “Woah there, easy buddy. Let’s get you to bed.” He wrapped Benrey’s arm over his shoulder and walked him over to his bedroom. Benrey let go of Gordon and gently flopped down onto the soft surface, groaning. Gordon left for a moment to turn off the pot before returning. He sat on the foot of the bed and looked down at his cut shirt sleeve, which was covered in blood. There was a hole in the shirt and blood, but no cut or scar. Benrey groaned loudly as the coughing slowed.

“You didn’t have to do that. You’re pushing your body too much.”

“But I gotta take care of you, man. It was…” He coughed hard. “…all of this. It’s all my fault. I gotta fix this, bro.” Benrey reached out and grabbed Gordon’s hand. “I’m…I’m sorry. For everything. What I gotta do to fix this, Gordon?”

Gordon stared back surprised. He slowly pulled his hand away and held it with the other. “it’s not you Benrey, it’s…it’s me. I’m the reason we’re not okay anymore. I forgave you a while ago, and I can see you're trying your best to do better.” He stood up and walked towards the door, his back still towards Benrey. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating you. I’ve got problems you wouldn’t understand, but I won’t blame you for them anymore.” He grabbed the door handle and looked back at him. “You get some rest buddy. I’m gonna call the others.” The door softly clicked shut and the room darkened. Benrey curled over under the blankets and passed out quickly.

Suddenly he was awoken to the sound of shouting outside. “Shut your fuckin mouth!” Benrey only could make out the one line from Bubby among the noise. He groggily stood up and walked out the doorway. Everyone from the game was in Gordon’s living room, and almost everyone was arguing. G-man stood in the corner furthest from him, leaning against the wall, with Sunkist sitting quietly beside him, and Frozen was in the kitchen raiding the fridge. Tommy was closest to Benrey, trying to de-escalate the situation when he noticed him coming out of the room. “Benrey!” he cheerfully greeted, but his look turned concerned as Benrey began to fall over. The group arguing had noticed the comment and rushed over to help. Tommy managed to reach him before he hit the ground and held him up while the others helped to guide him to the couch. Benrey sat down as Bubby began again. 

“So from what they're telling me, you seriously don’t even know what the fuck you are?” Benrey smacked his lips and nodded laboriously. “Yup. Remember meetin Tommy and G dad but nothin else before that.” G-man seemed miffed at the comment but said nothing. Bubby started to yell at Benrey, commenting “Good job Einstein, we can’t help you now!”. Gordon and Darnold began to lecture at Bubby, trying to suggest ideas of how to help Benrey, and telling him off about his rude comments. Frozen approached the couch with a soda and leaned over the top, sarcastically saying “Dr.Coomer, what about a Beyblade?”. Dr.Coomer stopped being helpful and began to read off the Wikipedia article for “Beyblade”. The room was in absolute chaos.

“Would you all please shut the fuck up?” Tommy yelled angrily. Everyone stopped in their tracks and looked over at Tommy, who was fuming. “We aren’t going to be able to help our friend if all we do is argue! We need to work together to come up with a solution!” He looked down at his feet and balled his fists. “I don’t want him to hurt anymore.” he sighed. Everyone awkwardly stood in silence as they tried to think. Gordon walked over and comforted Tommy as Bubby embarrassedly stormed off into the kitchen.

“Now that that …situation is over, might I suggest an idea?”

Gordon looked into the corner to see G-man pushing himself up off the wall. He was attempting to maintain his enigmatic energy, but Gordon could tell that he wasn’t feeling himself. Tommy had told him that he, too, was suffering like Benrey, but to an extent which was less visible than Benrey’s condition. 

“This friend of yours, Benrey, seems to be suffering from some sort of memory loss. I suspect this could have been brought on due to…traumatic circumstances that he suffered during his time spent at Black Mesa. Now, I must admit…” G-man tried to step forwards off of the wall, but he stumbled and almost fell over. 

“Dad!” Tommy yelled out as he stood forwards to catch him. He held onto Tommy’s shoulder as he stood himself upright. “Thank you, Tommy.” he acknowledged. He straightened his tie and cleared his throat before he resumed speaking. “Now, I must admit that I am not in the best condition currently, but I know a way that I can help us both solve our afflictions.” 

“Wait, aren’t you some all-knowing motherfucker? Can’t you just tell us what he is?” Bubby interrupted. Tommy shot Bubby an uncomfortable look as G-man, at which Bubby stuck out his tongue.

“I hate to admit that that is not the case for your friend over here. Even with all their abilities, the truth is my employers could not understand his true nature.” He turned and stared deep into Benrey’s eyes. “The truth is that you are so different from everything else that not even the highest beings in the universe could understand you.” 

Benrey felt a shiver run down his spine. No wonder he was always scared by him. If you knew everything about the universe and yet somehow, something you couldn’t comprehend, existed right in front of you, wouldn’t you be scared?

“But that is all but the past now. I know how I can help him to find out what he is if he is willing to help me get what I need.” He had an enigmatic smile on his face as he said this. There were obviously some hidden motives involved but he had no better options. “Whatcha need, man?” G-Man smiled and whispered to Tommy some instructions, to which Tommy nodded and walked over to the computer. Gordon followed him to the computer along with Darnold and Dr.Coomer, as G-man sat down on the couch next to Benrey. 

“What’s your dad getting you to do, Tommy?” Gordon asked quietly.

“He just wants me to pull up his old files, Mr.Freeman.”, Tommy hushed.

“Hello, Gordon! Why are we whispering?” Dr.Coomer interrupted whispering.

“Yeah, why are you whispering? We are all very aware of the situation.” Darnold commented at a normal sound level. “If this was going to hurt your computer, I’m sure he would have said something.”

“Your computer will be fine Dr.Freeman,” G-Man announced as he rose from the couch. “Even if something were to, say, happen, it would only affect Benrey and me.”

Benrey looked startled by the comment. “What ya up to? Is your plan gonna hurt me, man?”

“You should be fine if everything goes according to plan. Follow me, Benrey.” He stood up and walked slowly over to the computer and pointed at one of the files. “Please load that one, Tommy.” He leaned on the desk as Bubby helped Benrey over. G-man positioned himself directly in front of the computer. “Please everyone else, stand back. Benrey, please give me your hand.” His eyes were glowing brightly and his smile spread wide as he outstretched his right hand. Benrey nervously placed his hand into G-man's tight grip. “What I gotta do now?” 

G-man outstretched his other hand towards the computer screen as he tightened the grip on Benrey’s hand. “You see, from what I do know of you is that you contain a nearly infinite source of energy within you. Akin to a battery, wouldn’t you say. Now, someone with the proper knowledge might be able to tap into that energy to accomplish great feats.”

“Unfortunately due to your current condition, you are just a battery, and batteries are meant to be used!” 

G-man smiled widely as he nearly crushed Benrey’s hand. Benrey screamed out in pain as his eyes and mouth shot out bright beams of dark blue light, and his body drooped backward. All the electronics and lights in the apartment went out but the computer screen, revealing a green glow emanating from G-man’s eyes. 

“What are you doing to him, dad?” Tommy yelled out frantically. Everyone had become paralyzed with horror as he began to reach his hand into the computer screen. The screen twisted and glitched as he began to pull back out…a briefcase. As the last edge of the bag popped out of the screen, G-man immediately dropped Benrey’s hand, causing him to collapse, and grabbed both hands onto the case. “Yes! Finally!” he exclaimed, raising it into the air proudly. 

Gordon and Tommy rushed over to Benrey’s limp body, looking down in horror to discover his eyes had been replaced with a blue-screen image. Everyone crowded over him as Dr.Coomer added, “Oh dear, that does not look good.” 

“What did you do to him?” Gordon screamed, cradling his limp body. Benrey wasn’t breathing or moving at all. 

G-man had now gone back to his usual demeanor, and walked over, crouching over his body. He sighed. “It seems he did not stand up as well to the draining as I thought. Not to worry Mr.Freeman.” G-man placed his right hand over Benrey’s eyes, and the light emanating from G-man’s eyes faded away. As he removed his hand Benrey’s eyes were back to the normal blue, as he began coughing and wheezing. 

“Benrey! Oh my god, I thought you were gone there for a minute!” Gordon said as he hugged onto him. “Heh, Feetman cares about me,” Benrey remarked. Gordon pulled back, still holding onto his shoulders. He was near tears. “Of course I care about you man. You’re my buddy, and I don’t wanna have to watch you die again.” Benrey blushed, looking away. “Thanks, I guess. Don’t wanna see you die either.” The group, minus G-man, helped Benrey back to the couch, which he lied down on.

“He’s gotten worse dad. We’ve gotta fix him now before it gets any worse.” Tommy voiced his concerns as he checked Benrey’s vitals. 

“I remember that I did agree to help you as well, so I will keep my promise. Tommy, please get him something to drink.” Tommy went into the kitchen to fetch a soda. G-man reached into the briefcase, which had a black abyss inside. 

“Whatcha got in there?” Frozen commented, trying to peer in. 

“That is for me to know, and you to ponder.” He pulled out a pill from the briefcase and handed it to Benrey as Tommy came over with a soda. “Eat this.”, he commanded. Benrey was about to take the pill when Gordon snatched it out of his hand. “Before he does anything that might kill him again, what is this gonna do to him?”

G-man rolled his eyes and sighed as Gordon took a peek at the pill. It contained tiny ones and zeros impossibly floating around the black space inside it. “He will go through his lost memories until he finds the answer he is looking for. That’s all it does, Mr.Freeman.” Gordon nervously looked over at Benrey, who gently picked it up and swallowed it with the soda. “I’ll see you on the other side, Gordon.” He assured him, grabbing onto Gordon’s hand. The room quickly began to fade into blackness as Benrey nervously questioned the intelligence of his action.

“…twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…”

Benrey suddenly found himself floating in mid-air. He looked around and immediately recognized where he was. He was back in Xen, although it looked very different from how he remembered it. There were probably a hundred humanoid beings in the large cavern, all discussing things or working. He could understand their language, but couldn’t remember why. He looked around two see two children near him, one who looked quite average who was squatting down with his eyes covered, and one running off who had mostly black hair that appeared to have missing textures. The realization hit him that the child was him. The tiny Benrey ran off deep into one of the side caverns, to which he followed closely. 

He heard the other child yell out a familiar “Ready or not, here I come!” in the alien tongue, to which the little Benrey responded by panicking and squeezing into a small hole in the wall. As he watched the small version of him hide in silence, he began to hear sounds of violence and screaming from far down the hall. He couldn’t move towards the sounds, but he knew what it was. Guns. The screaming continued for quite some time until only the stomping of boots could be heard. Two men in crude HEV suits marched into the hall. “It looks like it’s all clear in here.” The little Benrey slowly emerged from the hole and quietly tugged on one of their suits. It shocked the soldier, who let out a small yelp. “Where did everybody go?” asked the child in his alien language. The soldier told him other that “They said to take the kids back to the base.”. They reached out their hand to the young Benrey, and lead him off out of the tunnel.

There was a loud flash as Benrey suddenly found himself standing over the small Benrey again, who had all sorts of devices attached to him and a hospital gown on. The scientists commented and puzzled over him as there was another flash.

Suddenly he was in a small dark room with the little Benrey. He was huddled in a corner as he heard voices approaching.

“So the bosses wanted them all dumped? Every single one? Even though this one had different results?”

“Yep. The boss said something about acceptable losses and how they were just a waste of resources, so we gotta do it to them all. It sucks, but it’s part of the job.”

They opened the door of the room and called out to him. “Grab him and take him along. He’s the last one, so let’s get this over with.” The scientist grabbed onto little Benrey’s arm and pulled him along. Benrey followed behind as the two scientists split up, one going into a small control room and the other dragging Benrey. The first opened the door as the other dragged Benrey inside. There was a platform overlooking many vats containing various substances. The scientist stopped in front of one particularly volatile vat, and let go of his arm. “Goodbye!” The scientist commented as he pushed the small child into the container. Benrey stared in horror as he sank beneath the surface of the liquid. “Ahh…now that that’s all dealt with, let’s go get some lunch!” As he finished the sentence, a skeletal hand reached up out of the acid, grabbing onto their leg. They screamed out in horror as the hand pulled them down into the liquid. The hand reached back out as the other scientist began to activate alarms, and pulled itself up out of the water. A half skeletal young Benrey stood up, still wearing its hospital gown. The child just stood there in shock as he heard soldiers approaching. As he saw the area around him turning white, he groaned “Ugh, not this again!”

The flashes soon came fast between each scene. Tests upon tests upon tests were done to the little Benrey, each crueler than the last. He was forced to fight soldiers with his powers and was shocked with restraints if he didn’t obey. He was starved for weeks to test the length he could go without food. He was forced to kill innocent people just to demonstrate the enormity of his power. He was the most powerful person in the laboratory but yet he was powerless against them.

Suddenly he found himself being walked into a lab by guards. He looked quite a bit older now and was unresponsive to the comments they made. 

“Please, put him on there.” The guards pushed Benrey onto a platform and released the handcuffs. The scientists connected wires and devices all over him. They finished and pressed a button, raising a glass cylinder around him, and placing a seal over the top of the container. A man read off a clipboard as he filled it out.

“Test subject B3N-r3Y, the information demon, is to be subjected to testing via liquid means to determine power-producing capabilities. They are to be left to acclimatize for 10 hours before testing begins.”

A voice on the other end of the room yelled out at the scientists.“Hey, what the fuck are you doing over there? This lab is already occupied. I don’t want a roommate!”

“Sucks to suck professor!” replied one of the scientists. The group of scientists and guards laughed before leaving the room, which became dimmed.

“They know it’s Doctor. Hey you, new guy. What shit did you get into to get stuck here? Turn around so I can see you.”

The young Benrey turned around to see a middle-aged man with spiky white and brown hair, sharp teeth, and glasses. They had their arms crossed and looked quite unhappy. Benrey recognized him immediately. It was Bubby!

“What the fuck? You’re just a kid!” He pressed his hands against the glass. “Black Mesa would stoop so low. Goddamn bastards.” Silence resumed for a while until the sound of the door slowly opening broke the silence.

“Took you fucking long enough. Where have you been?” 

“Hello, Professor Bubby! I had trouble sneaking past the guards!” the new person announced, pressing on a button.

“It’s doctor, Harold. You know that” 

The tube containing Bubby drained and opened, letting him free. He detached the wires and walked over to grab his lab coat from them. “Did you see what Black Mesa did now? He’s just a fuckin kid!” he commented, pointing at the tube containing small Benrey. The person turned around, showing they had big curly hair and a large fluffy mustache. It was Dr.Coomer!

“Oh dearie me! You're trapped. This just won’t do at all!” He released pressed a button and the tube containing young Benrey drained and opened. Dr.Coomer fiddled with the wires, detaching him from them. He crouched down and patted him on the head.

“That's better! Now tell me, what is your name, young lad?”

The small Benrey pointed at his wrist restraint, which had the words “For use on subject B3N-r3Y only” printed in large letters. Bubby read it and shook his head. “Subject B3N-r3Y, eh? What the fuck kind of name is that. Looks like…Benrey. I’ll call you that.”

“Hello, Benrey! Me and Professor Bubby here…”  
“Its Doctor!”  
“…Doctor Bubby and I are going to look at the surface. Do you want to come with us?”

His eyes widened as he nodded. “Ye-yes.” Dr. Coomer smiled at Bubby and grabbed onto Benrey’s hand. “Let’s go to the surface!” he exclaimed, punching the air.

Another white flash took him to the roof where the trio lied down looking at the stars.  
“Nature is beautiful, isn’t it Bubby?” Bubby nodded yes in response. It had been so many years in the facility and yet the young Benrey had never been outside Black Mesa before.

Bubby sat up and laid his arm onto his knees.“Harold. Lets… save our out for later. I think this poor fucker needs it more anyway.”

Dr. Coomer sat up and looked at him with concern.“But Bubby, isn’t it what you wanted? Don't you want to leave?”

Bubby reached over and grabbed Dr.Coomer’s hand. “I’m not going to abandon you, Harold. I can’t just leave you here. That’s it, end of fucking story. But this poor kid's gonna probably get gutted open soon. We better do this quickly before I change my mind.” 

Dr.Coomer looked into Bubby’s eyes and smiled. Bubby blushed, telling Benrey to stand up and follow them.

They both snuck little Benrey off into a corner of the facility they knew was not often guarded. The pair lifted him up and threw him as high as possible, just barely making it over the fence surrounding the area. The small Benrey stood up after a moment and looked down at the duo through the grate. They waved at him.

“Goodbye Benrey! Don’t worry about us! Just run!”

“Go little baby bitch! Run!” yelled Bubby.

He saw a flash of light and breathed a heavy sigh thinking was finally over. 

Unfortunately for him, he realized quickly that he wasn’t waking up, due to the black void that surrounded him. He began to look around, and he saw, far away, what looked like a mirror image of himself made up of static. He slowly tried to walk up to it, and but it suddenly began to walk towards him at a fast pace. 

“Hello? Who the fuck are you?” he said, backing away. The static pointed its finger at Benrey and continued to walk straight up to him. It latched its hands onto his neck and began choking him. He tried to gasp for air, but all he could do was cough. Just as his consciousness began to fade away, he closed his eyes. He thought he was going to die.

“Why the fuck is he choking himself? Is this normal?” He opened his eyes to see that Bubby was closely inspecting him and Gordon was trying to pull his hands away from his throat. He coughed as he let go of his neck. G-man shook his head. “It is not supposed to do that. Curious.” 

“So, what did you see Benrey?” Asked Gordon. Benrey sat up slowly and began to think. “First I was back in the Xen, just chilling. ‘Cept there were a lotta people there, all kinda looked like me. Then soldier boys comin, takin everything. Black mesa straight up killin people. Took me away to some sorta lab, but then they killed everyone. Black mesa fucked up and evil moments. But I don’t die, so more tests. Called me something like a fuckin “information demon” or something. I dunno.” 

G-man looked puzzled.“That can’t be right. All the 374 humanoids of Xen were destroyed by Black Mesa. That is how it has always been. However, you looked just like one. You grow increasingly peculiar.” 

“An information demon you say? Well, that certainly helps us a bit. I think I might have heard a bit about you years ago in Black Mesa, Benrey!”

“Yeah, I saw you guys too. Less old tho. Ya threw me over a fence.”

“Wait, you were that fuckin kid? God damn it, why didn’t I notice that earlier.” He paused for a moment before crossing his arms. “Wait, why the fuck did you come back?.” Bubby demanded angrily.

Benrey glanced awkwardly over at Frozen, who shot him back a death stare. “Stuff happens, man.” 

“So if I remember correctly, from what they could figure out, they said that by absorbing personal information about others or at least holding personal information about itself on your person, you could use it to gain energy. It’s pretty cool, Gordon.”

“So what does that mean?” 

Benrey smiled. “Imma need your passport bro.” 

Gordon groaned loudly and pressed his hands into his face. “Not this shit again.”

“Mr.Freeman, if what Dr.Coomer here says is correct, then any old piece of identification could help him to heal. A passport would work just fine, but so would a driver's license or birth certificate.” Suggested Darnold. 

“Well, we can’t help jack shit. We have no legal documents here,” complained Bubby.

Dr.Coomer added, “Hello Gordon! We are illegal aliens!” 

Gordon chuckled and then thought for a moment before getting up and disappearing into his room. He came out with a small card and handed it to Benrey, who was now sitting up on the couch. 

“Here, one of my old driver's licenses. Now you have to absorb it somehow?”

“Hmm. It’s expired. Oh well.” He pressed the card onto his bare forearm and waited. He looked confused and tried on the other arm, before shrugging. He was about to put the card into his mouth when Gordon stopped him, sighing.

“Honestly, Benrey, what the fuck are you doing?” Gordon asked.

“It’s not working. Usually, when I did this with somethin, it would dissolve and I would feel good. Guess the human body don’t wanna do that, so I gotta do it the other way.” He put the card close to his mouth again before stopping. “It was easier with the paper stuff.” Gordon sighed, grabbing the card and handing it to Dr.Coomer, who bent it into a smaller form. Gordon took back the squished plastic and handed it to Benrey, along with his soda. “Try drinking it down, that usually helps with big pills.” Benrey swallowed the card and winced. He followed it with the soda and started complaining. “Owww man, that shit hurts.”

Suddenly the complaining stopped and Benrey looked down at himself. He slowly stood up and straightened his back. Benrey let out a soft note as blue balls of light began to light up the room. He stopped and let out a small cough, but didn’t seem to be much affected.

Tommy ran up to Benrey, hugging him tightly. “You’re almost back to normal! We did it! We fixed you!”

“Fantastic! This test was a success!” Dr.Coomer blurted excitedly.

“Kinda better yeah. Still kinda shit tho. At about fifty percent old Benrey now.” He gently was released by Tommy and turned to Gordon. “You got any more?”

“Nothing else sorry. But what I can do is order you your own id. It might take a little while, but I think I can pull a few strings to get you what you need. Does that sound good?”

Benrey blushed and looked away awkwardly.“That would be…nice. Thanks. Means a lot coming from you dude.” He began to walk into the kitchen. 

“Now who wants late dinner? Imma make nachos,” he asked loudly. The majority chimed up and some wandered over to the kitchen table to sit down. Dr.Coomer took a seat beside Gordon, at the table, saying “Feed me my nachos, Dr.Freeman!”. Gordon laughed as everyone began to chatter with each other. Things weren’t always so bad after all.


	4. Going on a trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey goes shopping while Gordon is at work. Things happen.

#  Quarantined Together 

## Going on a Trip

“You’ve got mail!” Benrey cheekily announced as he walked back into the apartment. He set down the package and letters he was carrying onto the kitchen table before plopping himself back down onto the couch. Gordon turned from the stove and thanked Benrey, before sitting down with his breakfast beside the deliveries. Benrey made a small sound of acknowledgment before turning on the television. As he ate, he opened each package and commented on the contents. Bills, ads, notices. Nothing of much interest, until it came to the small package.

As he read the label, he called out, “Oh, Benrey, it finally came! Never thought I’d be happy to see one of these again.” He opened the small box and emptied the contents, pulling out a hand-sized blue booklet with the word “Passport” in silver letters on the front. 

Gordon chuckled and waved it gently as Benrey peered with lazy interest over the top of the couch. “Yoo! Give it!” he insisted, lazily reaching an arm out towards it. Gordon put up a finger as he began to inspect it.

“Just give me a second. I want to look it over first. Make sure you filled everything outright.” He opened it up, looking at the page with where he saw a photo of Benrey, hatless, staring incredibly awkwardly into the camera. He laughed and began to read aloud the information.

“Birthday, November the sixth,1996. Wait, Benrey, you’re only twenty-four?” Benrey crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back over the arm of the couch, with a blank look on his face. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” 

Gordon scratched his head, admitting “Well with the whole eldritch demon thing I thought you were…like a thousand or something. You’re younger than me!” He looked Benrey in the eyes, smirking widely, and snarked “Lil baby.” Benrey’s look went sour.

“Nooo. Shut up.” He sat up out of view on the couch, hissing quietly “Not a fucking baby.”

Gordon continued down the list and saw something a little unexpected. His name was spelled “Benrey”, the way Gordon did it. He smiled and began to read aloud again. 

“Name, Benrey Free-” He cut himself off, staring down at the document in confusion. Freeman? He had half expected it to be “Calhoun” or something, but why would it be…

“We’re married now, bro.” Benrey had leaned himself over the back of the couch, arms crossed, wearing a shit-eating grin. Gordon was both amused and in shock at the sheer nerve of Benrey’s actions, making it hard for him to speak clearly.

“What the fuck…That’s not how…That’s not how that fucking works Benrey.” He couldn’t help but laugh, He should have seen this coming. He looked over at Benrey, who’s smile went softer as he chuckled. He couldn’t help but smile back.

After a moment, he walked over and handed the passport to Benrey, who held it against him with enthusiasm. He let out a long “Yes!” before placing it in his pocket. As Gordon went to walk back into the kitchen, he felt a hand grab onto his wrist. Benrey had a bad habit of grabbing him, but he was used to it now. “What’s up?”

Benrey scratched his head and looked away blushing.“Thanks, man. Means a lot.” He smiled appreciatively, responding “Your welcome.”

After a few minutes passed, Benrey heard Gordon say something to him from the kitchen. He tried to pay attention but the animal documentary was just too interesting to peel himself away. Because of this lack of acknowledgment, Gordon started rambling off to himself, laughing a little, and referring to himself in the third person. Typical Gordon move. Benrey responded by fully putting his attention into the show, ignoring the tirade happening behind him. As the credits rolled about an hour later, he noticed Gordon had left, leaving a note and bag on the kitchen table.

>   
>  Hey Benrey,
> 
> I know you heard nothing I said, so I’m writing it down instead. Now that you have some ID, you can go out without having to worry about any legal issues. I don’t know why I am doing this, but I’m leaving you my credit card so that you can go out and get us some groceries for dinner. Buy whatever you want, WITHIN REASON. Every purchase you make WILL be sent to my phone, so I WILL KNOW if you buy something stupid. If I come home to you with another PS3, I WILL make sure you return it yourself! I have left you a shopping bag, directions to the nearest store, and a mask. Please don’t let me down.
> 
> Gordon  
> 

He pulled out the items one by one, inspecting them quickly. The map, card, and bag were very straightforwards, but he was unpleasantly surprised by the horrendous leopard-print face mask that Gordon had left him. The move had obvious intent, as Gordon had access to plain disposable ones as a scientist but instead chose to supply him one that he knew Benrey would hate. It must have been payback for ignoring him. Benrey groaned loudly as he put it on.

Benrey hadn’t been outside since the first day that he had been out of the computer. The group didn’t want anyone who didn’t have a job to leave the building, as they wouldn’t have any form of identification. Just imagine being a police officer and finding a large group of people, who have nothing to identify themselves, and who are living in the middle of the country. That couldn’t end well. 

He suddenly turned and walked across the street, staring down at the instructions. He was so caught up in the thought that he almost didn’t notice the truck that was forced to slam on its brakes beside him. As he realized that his jaywalking had almost lead to disaster, the driver stuck their head out at him.

“Watch where you're going, asshole! One of these days people like you are gonna get run down!” He waved a sort of half-apology and ran forwards towards the store until it eventually was in front of him. “Super Mart.” He read aloud as he looked up at the sign. It was probably the third time he had ever been inside a store. As he began to look around, his eyes widened with excitement. Sure, he had ordered food off the internet and through the phone, but buying it by hand was truly something else. He quickly wandered the isles, looking at all the foods and games, wanting to buy every single one. He stopped himself before he got the chance to go on a shopping spree. He had a job to do because he really wanted to be able to go out again, and, he didn’t want to admit it, but he didn’t like disappointing Gordon.

He moved through the food isles, picking up ingredients and produce as he went. After the groceries were finished he began to wander around, looking for a small couple of treats. He grabbed a case of soda, some chips, and a rather cheap copy of Skyrim. Surely Gordon would be fine with that. As he continued to wander, he found himself in the medical isle. He noticed the cough medicine jars and remembered how Gordon had told him to take it on hard nights to help him sleep. They were almost out of it if he remembered correctly. As he was no medical expert, he couldn’t tell which one to buy, so he took the three cheapest bottles and loaded them into his bag. Sure, he didn’t need it very often anymore, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

Just as he went to move on to the next aisle, he heard a woman snapping closely behind him. They called out “Hey you! I know you!” He turned to see a rather short and skinny woman standing about a meter away from him. She was wearing nurses' scrubs and a disposable mask. “I know you! Your Freeman’s friend…Si…Bi…Bo… “

“Benrey.”

“Hmm…that doesn’t sound right. You said, Barney?” Benrey pulled out his passport and held it out proudly, as she peered forwards at it. “Benrey Freeman. Huh. Guess I was wrong.” She scratched her head gently, asking “Are you his cousin?” 

She couldn’t see it, but he grew a shit-eating grin. “Nah, we're married.” She obviously didn’t pick up on his sarcasm, as she clasped her hands together and smiled.

“Oh, that’s wonderful! I knew he would find the right person one day! Congratulations!” she beamed. He blushed at the comments and let out a little chuckle. “If you don’t remember, I know Gordon because I went to college with Gordon. Mr. Gorgeous himself.” She chuckled at the nickname.“That’s what everyone called him back then. He hated it! ” She laughed at her comment as he stood awkwardly, unsure how to respond. She noticed the energy after a moment and continued, “Please, tell him Cathy said Hi when you get the chance!” She waved and left as quickly as she had arrived.

Strange lady.

It was late at night before Gordon made it back to his apartment. The lab he was working in had wanted to run some extra tests, so he had stayed to help, but he didn’t think it would take as long as it did. As he took off his jacket and disinfected himself, he noticed Benrey had stopped playing PS3 to look over at him. Gordon saw that his face was riddled with concern. 

“Ya didn’t show up. Was getting worried.” His expression changed quickly into one of distaste as he grabbed the controller and resumed playing. “Not that I would fucking care about you.” He hissed.

Gordon felt guilty as he walked behind the couch, and leaned on the top. “Look man, I’m sorry. Work ran late today and I didn’t mean to worry you. I should be able to afford to get you a phone soon, so this won’t happen again. Alright?” 

Benrey let a small unsure noise, which he took as a yes. He patted Benrey on the shoulder and went to change. When he came back out of his room, Benrey was still on the couch, but now was sitting upside down, with his legs over the top of the couch. Gordon didn’t understand how he could play like that but shrugged and brushed it off. Benrey didn’t make much sense anyway sometimes. He looked at the tv to see that he had been playing Skyrim, as a Khajiit. He was running around stabbing people and lightning them on fire. Gordon wasn’t surprised.

The kitchen was surprisingly clean, with only the dishes in the sink showing that dinner had been cooked. He opened the fridge to see that the top shelf had a plate with dinner covered in cling film and an open can of soda next to it. He took the food out and placed it on the counter, thanking Benrey for saving dinner for him.

“No prob.”

As he went to throw the cling wrap away, he noticed the face mask he had given Benrey was now in the garbage. He should have expected as much. He reheated the food before taking it and the drink over to the couch next to Benrey. He was still upside down, playing Skyrim.

“What are you doing now?” Gordon inquired between bites. 

“Some kid wants me to murder his nanny. Catboy is gonna get paid.”

“Sounds fun.” He took a sip of the soda, and almost spit it out. It had a very strange flavor, almost metallic, but he put it off to it being a cheap brand that he hadn’t tried before. He watched as Benrey proceeded to snipe an old woman with an arrow from across the room. 

“Nice shot.”

“Thanks.”

The conversation was dry, but the food certainly wasn’t. He finished the plate and placed it down on the coffee table, still sipping his soda. Benrey glanced over after a moment, seeing the drink, and paused the game. 

“Soda,” he mumbled, flipping himself over in his seat into an upright position, before standing and walking into the kitchen. Gordon heard some more mumbling and rummaging around behind him. “My soda’s gone.”

“What?”

“My soda, I left it in the fridge.”

“Oh wait, that was yours? The one you left open right beside my food?”

“Yeah, I was gonna drink it man. Just forgot after openin it. Catboy was too important.”

Gordon drank the last bit of the can before commenting “Well, just grab another one. Doesn’t really matter to me.” He glanced down at the can, with a sudden thought and realization. “Benrey, did you put some alcohol in this? I don’t mind, it's a weekend, but it tasted funny.”

He walked over and sat back on the couch with a fresh soda. “Oh that. Put my sleep stuff innit.”

“Your what? You mean cough medicine?”

“Yeah. Stuff that makes the z’s. Hate the taste so why not?” He resumed playing the game, 

Gordon rolled his eyes and pressed his hands into his face. “Guess I’m fucking sleeping well tonight.” Another thought quickly passed through his mind, causing him to pull his hands off his face and look Benrey straight in the eyes. “Benrey?”

“Yuh?”

“How much fucking cough syrup did you put in there?”

“Oh, only three.”

“Three of what, Benrey. Three of what?” he asked, cringing preemptively.

“Three different kinds man. Just read the bottles an put the three shots in.”

He jumped up off the couch, yelling “What the fuck Benrey!” He began to laugh nervously as he held himself, stammering out “Benrey, tell me, please, why the fuck would you do that?”

Benrey looked up at Gordon, calmly stating “Triple the healing man.”

Gordon laughed fearfully as he crumpled into a ball on the floor, pulling on his hair. “I’m gonna die. That’s it. Gordon’s gonna die. Benrey kills Gordon.” His concerning laughter and comments prompted Benrey to put down his controller, sit down next to Gordon and pat his back, as Gordon shifted to holding his knees. “I’m gonna fucking pass out.” Benrey didn’t know anything about how to deal with anxiety attacks, but he tried his best.

“So that’s not how medicine works?”

Gordon gently placed a hand on Benrey’s shoulder and looked with distress into his eyes. He softly muttered out, “No Benrey, no. That’s not how it works.” He groaned as he slowly laid himself down onto his side, trembling. “Guhhhhh…I think I’m gonna puke.” He watched as Benrey grabbed his phone off the couch and begin typing away on it. “What are you doing? Call an ambulance. Gordon’s going to the hospital.” Benrey patted him gently as he shook his head.

“Nah, internet says you’ll be fine.”

Gordon made a confused groan as Benrey handed him the phone. He looked it over for a moment, before calming down a little. He sat up slowly, as Benrey stared at him with concern. “I’m…gonna have to call one of my buddies. He’s a doctor at the hospital… he’ll know what to do.” He tried to stand but was too weak. “Can you help me up, please?” Benrey nodded, and silently got behind Gordon, lifting him up by wrapping his arms around his chest and standing. It wasn’t how he expected Benrey would lift him, but it worked. 

As Gordon sat down on the couch and dialed up, Benrey retreated to his room, shutting the door and lying on the bed. He felt awful. He hadn’t meant to, but he had hurt Gordon, again. He knew that he had never truly gotten Gordon’s hand cut off, but the experience was real for him. He crossed his arms and dug his fingernails into them. Benrey waited for what seemed like hours, staring at the ceiling, until he heard a gentle knock and Gordon call for him to come out.

He couldn’t look Gordon in the eyes as he walked out, following him. “What’s the Doc say?”

“He said the dose you gave me was small enough not to cause any damage, so I won’t have to go in. Unfortunately for you, you’re not off the hook just yet.” Gordon struggled as he began to remove the three seat cushions. Benrey came over and quickly completed the job in his stead. Gordon waved for Benrey to stand out of the way as he pulled out on a handle inside the seat. 

Benrey was surprised to learn the couch was actually a sofa bed. Gordon fixed up the mattress and pillows as he continued his lecture. “My friend said that it is probably also going to make me very high. So, you are going to stay up and watch me, to make sure I don’t do anything stupid and to make sure I don’t get sick. You did this, to me, so now you are gonna fix it!” Benrey’s eyes were still fixed on the ground as he muttered something about how he was sorry and didn’t mean to hurt him. Gordon's angry demeanor quickly faded into one of disappointment in response. He sighed and looked over, speaking with a softer tone than before. “You should probably get changed. It’s gonna be a long night for you.” Benrey nodded and silently walked back into his room, pausing at the door for a moment to look back at him. It took him much longer than it should have, due to him lying back down on the bed, contemplating his thoughts. He could handle Gordon being angry at him. The anger was pretty normal between them. But whenever Gordon gave him that disappointed look, it just ate him up inside, which made him feel all sorts of terrible ways and think terrible thoughts. 

As he came back out, he noticed Gordon had also changed, turned the lights off, and had grabbed some blankets for the couch. Benrey sat down beside him on the couch and wrapped himself up as well. He didn’t need to sleep every night like a typical human but still liked sleeping and relaxing.

“What looks good?” Benrey only then noticed that Gordon had turned on a movie streaming service. “You are going to be up all night, so I might as well put something on for you.” They contemplated the options before deciding on a cheesy action movie. As the movie started, Gordon commented on how comfortable he felt but was otherwise the room fell quiet. Throughout the movie, Benrey would occasionally peel his eyes from the screen to stare at Gordon, who was sitting tranquility across from him. Usually, Gordon would tell him off for staring, but he didn’t even seem to notice now. 

About halfway through the movie, Benrey got needed a quick break, so he paused the movie and left Gordon by himself for a short while. When he came back, Gordon was sitting up at the end of the sofa bed, holding his stomach. He groaned a little, and Benrey sat down beside him, ready to help. 

“You need anything?”

Gordon assured Benrey, “No, I’ll be fine. It’s just nausea.”, as he got up and went to the bathroom. Benrey noticed the phone on the couch beside him and was too tempted to resist. He snooped through it while he waited, coming across a familiar picture just before Gordon returned. 

He turned the screen towards Gordon.“What's this?” 

“Huh? Why do you have my phone?” Gordon seemed a bit miffed about the snooping, grabbing it back as he sat down.

“I thought Joshua didn’t exist.” 

Gordon looked down at the screen and shook his head. “No, he does. I don’t know how, but the game must have somehow had gotten a picture of him. Ether it must have been some sort of snooping program, like you, or the programmer-” He cut himself off, looking down at the picture again sadly. “Yeah, he exists Benrey. Just not in my life.”

Benrey tried his best not to sound insensitive. “Whatcha mean?”

Gordon scratched the back of his head. “My ex, she… wasn’t the greatest person. I was supposed to gain custody of him but she took him and ran off before I ever got him. I don’t know where he is, but I get letters sometimes.” He turned towards Benrey, showing his despondent expression.“I know he likes cowboys, but that’s it. I just wish that there was more I could have done. I wish I could have stopped her.” Benrey reached out to comfort Gordon, who brushed him away gently. Both sat in silence for a few minutes before Gordon resumed the movie. The only sound for the remainder of the movie came from the television itself.

As the credits rolled, Benrey couldn’t help himself but start to doze off. He didn’t need the sleep, but he was too comfortable lying down in the blankets to stop himself. He was asleep for some time but woke up when he felt his hand being moved. Benrey slowly sat up and opened his eyes to see that Gordon was sitting beside him, interlocking their fingers. Benrey’s face flushed as he realized how close Gordon had moved to him. It looked like Gordon had been crying, as his face was a tinge redder than usual, and the lines of tears down his face were almost dry.

“Wha-whats up?” he stammered out.

“I’m…I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you anymore but I keep doing it. You’re my friend and friends aren’t supposed to hurt each other. I guess I’ve let my own problems get in the way of us.”

“It’s okay man, I’m fine now,” Benrey reassured him.

“But I terribly hurt you. I did that to you and you can just forgive me? You should hate me! I hate me!”

Benrey blushed more, insisting to Gordon, “I don’t hate you. Mighta been angry, but I’ve never hated you. It’s in the past.”

“But because of my issues, I keep hurting you. Terribly hurting you. And I don’t want to hurt you anymore!” Gordon pulled his hand away, crossing his arms and leaning away. “I don’t want you to leave me, but maybe you should. All I do is give you pain.” Benrey adjusted himself onto his knees, staring contemplatively at his face. He began to reach out, stopping himself halfway. He pushed through his hesitation and fully committed, cautiously wrapping his arms under Gordon’s and pulling him close. Gordon leaned into it, letting Benrey feel the overheated and shaky mess he was.

“I’m never leaving you. Never again.”

“Why? I’m just going to hurt you again.” 

Benrey pulled a little closer, whispering “I hurt you too.” There was silence as they sat there, holding each other. Benrey pressed his face into Gordon and mumbled softly.

“Hm? What?” Gordon looked down at Benrey, who was curled up in his arms. Benrey turned his cheek onto Gordon’s shoulder, his face fully flushed. His forehead just barley touching Gordon’s neck.

“I love you, idiot.” Gordon gently pulled him left away, surprised. He held Benrey up lightly by his shoulders, a baffled expression on his face. 

“You…You what?”

He bashfully turned his face away, looking down at the floor. “I said that I love you, stupid. Thought it was pretty obvious.” He had been expecting rejection, but it still hurt. He put a hand on his face, staring down uncomfortably at his knees. “I’m sorry I made this awkward man, I’ll just-” He was cut off by Gordon placing a hand behind his neck, pulling him gently forwards into a kiss. He almost pulled back in surprise, but after a moment he wrapped his arms under Gordon’s, pulling himself closer. 

Benrey pulled back slowly, faces flushed, as he let blue and pink orbs slip out of his mouth. Gordon looked up at them as they floated above, his expressions were as if it was the first time he had seen them. “Woah.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s…beautiful.” If Benrey wasn’t already blushing, the comment definitely would have made him.

“Th-Thanks.” 

Gordon smiled and lied back down, staring up as if the lights were stars. Benrey followed suit, lying down beside him. They lay silently for minutes holding hands as the lights faded away.

As the darkness grew, Gordon turned his face to look into his eyes. “Benrey?”

“Yeah?” He turned his gaze over towards Gordon.

“Could you…do some more? Just a little, to help me fall asleep?”

He touched the back of his neck and nodded. “Sure, I guess.” He cleared his throat, letting out a rainbow of colors accompanied by a soft wavering note. He kept singing for a few minutes, only stopping temporarily to catch his breath. After the ceiling above them was lit up with a rainbow of colored notes, he stopped, turning to see Gordon half asleep. He sighed happily, taking off his hat and curling up with his back to him. He had only had his eyes shut for a moment before he felt arms gently wrapping around his chest, and a face pressing into his back. Gordon was still overheated, but the warmth felt nice. He felt himself drifting away peacefully as he closed his eyes.

Benrey couldn’t move. 

He could tell that he was strapped to some sort of gurney, unable to move any of his limbs. Suddenly, Gordon appeared, standing silently beside him, staring down at him. The blank expression on his face was incredibly unnerving, unwavering as he yelled out to him.  
“Gordon? What's happening? Get me offa here!” No reaction.

He saw, off in the distance, a familiar figure. The same static copy from earlier was slowly walking towards him. “The fuck? Who are you? Stay back!” Benrey struggled against the restraints as the figure pointed at him, increasing its speed. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Gordon help me!”

Gordon only continued to stare down as the figure climbed over him, placing its hands on his neck. Benrey could only slip out an airy “Please.” as he began to gasp for air. He watched in horror as a wicked grin grew on Gordon’s face. He watched as the static began to slide off the face of the figure and onto him. The static was slowly fading starting from the middle of the face, exposing its mouth. As he felt himself passing out, the figure began to scream hoarsely out at him. 

“This is what he wants! HE DOESN’T WANT YOU, HE WAN-”

“-Wake your fucking ass up!”

His face stung badly as Gordon bent over Benrey, slapping him again. As soon as his eyes opened, Gordon ripped Benrey’s hands off of his throat and pinned down onto the couch behind him, causing Benrey to gasp loudly for air. After he took a few deep breaths and began coughing, Gordon let go, rolling off of him onto his back. 

“You gave me a scare there for a moment. I couldn’t get you to stop.” He laughed nervously, commenting “What is with you and choking yourself in your sleep, man?”

Benrey had finally caught his breath again. “Dunno man. Guess ma nightmares are more intense or something.” He touched his face, realizing that Gordon had given him a black eye. “Ya pack a punch man.” 

Gordon sat up, cringing at the injury. “Guess I do.” Gordon looked at where he had been sleeping and then back at Benrey, thinking. “Benrey…were we…spooning?”

Benrey blushed a little. “Yeah man, you don’t remember?”

He rubbed his forehead, “Kind of? I think so? It’s kinda fuzzy.” He scratched his head, thinking. “I remember you asking me about Joshie and then watching some more of the movie, but that’s it.” 

Benrey sat up, face filled with concern.“Ya don’t remember what happened?” Gordon looked a little startled by the statement.

He began to panic a little.“No man! Did I say something? Did I break something?” Benrey sat in silence, becoming disheartened. “You gotta tell me, man. Please.” he pleaded.

“You kissed me.”

Gordon stood up, shocked.“What? I kissed y-” He cut himself off, groaning loudly as he placed his arms on his stomach. “Fuck! I think I’m gonna puke.” He ran off into the bathroom.

A few minutes later when Gordon came back out, Benrey was no longer on the couch. He was in the kitchen, now wearing his hat, cooking a scrambled egg. “Oh god, my head hurts. This is like the worst hangover ever.” He wandered over to the cupboard, pulling out a glass and filling it up with water. “Sorry Benrey, but I am throwing all that shit out. Not worth it to risk this happening ever again.” Benrey gave no response, continuing his cooking while blankly staring into the pan. “You know I didn’t get sick because of what you said, right?”

Benrey gave a small “hm”, indicating that he wasn’t confident in what Gordon was telling him. Gordon hadn’t realized just how much his validation had meant to Benrey up until now. The air grew silent and stiff as Gordon took a seat at the kitchen table, drinking his water.

As Benrey finished cooking, Gordon patted the table. “Benrey, please, sit with me.” He took his plate of eggs and sat down across from Gordon, staring at the food. He didn’t eat any, placing his hands at the side of the plate and looking down blankly. “I’m…sorry if I came across in the wrong way earlier. I just wasn’t expecting to hear that I’d done that.” He reached out across the table, grabbing Benrey’s hand. Benrey looked up at Gordon, blushing gently. “Benrey, I am willing to admit that I may have…feelings…for you, but I’m just not ready for a relationship yet. I have still gotta deal with some of my own issues before I am a position to be with someone. Alright?” 

Benrey blushed harder, interlocking his fingers with Gordon’s.“Y-Yeah. Of course man. You do what you gotta do.”

“When I’m ready, you’ll be the first to know.”

He smirked as propped his chin upon his hands. “I’d better be.” Benrey slid over the plate to Gordon along with his fork. “Not hungry. Want em?” Gordon nodded, grabbing the fork.

As he watched Gordon eat, he began to think to himself about his current situation. Everything was turning out so well for him now. He was getting better, the science team had forgiven him, and he knew finally that Gordon loved him back, even if they weren’t in a relationship just yet. And still, something bugged him. It was like an itch at the back of his mind, something too far away for him to scratch. He didn’t know what piece of the puzzle he was missing yet, but he could tell there was one. 

Little things like his strange dreams and G-Man’s comments had put him off. He knew that Gordon was hiding something, whatever it was, and so he couldn’t ask him. He had seen Gordon and Dr.Coomer whispering about something, and they would stop talking whenever someone would enter. That also eliminated Dr.Coomer. 

For a moment he thought about the absurdity of it all. Why would they hide something? What if it was all just some big misunderstanding that he was throwing out of proportion? But then what if it was something serious? What would the consequences of ignorance be if he simply forgot all about this?

He knew what he had to do next. It was time to get the others up to speed on what he’d found out.


	5. Secrets (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bubby meets with the others to discuss recent happenings, and goes on a trip through memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was extremely long, so I split it into two chapters. I blame you for this. You know who you are.

#  Quarantined Together 

##  Questions (Part 1)

Bubby ripped off his mask as he entered the apartment, groaning loudly.

“Fucking long day. I hope whatever you want to talk about is worth the trouble of me rushing through my work to get here.”

The others turned to look from their places around and on the couch, each sipping a soda. Bubby hung up his jacket, but left on his lab coat, before grabbing himself one as well and moving back over to the couch. He moved in between Forzen and Darnold, who were leaning over onto it, to see the TV. Bubby spoke between sips to Benrey below him.

“What are we watching? I thought we had something to discuss?”

“We were waitin for ya, so I just turned on some baseball till then.”

“Baseball! Why are you watching that? It’s all just old reruns, nobody likes that. Give.” Bubby snatched the remote from Benrey and turned it on to a “Jeopardy” rerun. Benrey and Forzen groaned at the choice, while the rest seemed pleased with it. He took the opportunity to finish his drink, before standing (in front of the tv, of course) to speak. Bubby let out a small annoyed snarl before Benrey began.

“The reason why I got us all together was that…well…I think Gordon and Dr.Coomer are hiding something from us. I was wondering if you guys felt the same way too?” 

Benrey had already prepared himself for an inevitability, being called crazy or something like that because he was wrong, but he couldn’t have prepared himself for the response he actually received.

“I hate to admit it, but yes. They are definitely hiding something.” Darnold admitted.

Tommy added “Y-yeah. Darnold’s right. Mr.Freeman and Dr.Coomer, they-they don’t seem to want to tell me anything about us when I ask.” Forzen let out a gruff noise of confirmation between his sips, but Bubby had a different reaction than the others.

“What the hell are you talking about? I know Gordon is hiding something, I agree, but Ha- Dr.Coomer wouldn’t hide anything from me. That’s just absurd!”

The rest awkwardly turned to Bubby, faces full of compassion and disagreement. It would be hard for anyone to accept the fact that their husband had been hiding something or lying to them about something important. Bubby’s face flashed a moment of sadness before turning quickly to anger, crossing his arms. 

“I know them! They wouldn’t!”, he snapped. “They promised! Back in Black mesa, we both promised each other, no more secrets. So there is no way they would ever-”

“-But Dr.Bubby!” Tommy interrupted. “I remember that! It was after Mr.Freeman lost his arm, right? I was there, trynna sleep, and you guys were all whispering, keeping me awake! Dr.Bubby, you certainly promised him, but he didn’t promise you anything at all. It was just you!”

Bubby tried to stammer out something in response as his face was covered with fear and doubt. Had…Had he really misremembered it this whole time? Was Harold… lying to him? He tried to push the thoughts away as he responded by quietly going back to sipping his soda, looking down at it instead of the television as he buried himself in thoughts. 

“Uhhh…we should try to figure out what part ‘a the info we are missing. What objective have we missed, needa go back and find? Alright?” The group nodded, and Tommy thought for a moment, before putting a finger up and speaking.

“Well, when I last asked about Mr. Freeman's job, all I got was a that he was a geneticist and he wouldn’t tell me…”

Bubby tuned out the discussion as he walked into the kitchen to throw away the can. As he opened the bin to throw away it, his eyes wandered to his wedding band. He threw the can in, and moved to the table, sitting and looking at it as he thought. After Harold had gotten his first paycheck, he had used the extra money in order to buy them both exact copies of their rings. He couldn’t help but try to excitedly pick up the bigger man at the moment, injuring his back a little in the process. Bubby laughed softly as he reminisced. The rings may have not have been the most pretty of things, but the rings were a piece of home, an important piece of them, that was real now too. 

Bubby momentarily took off the ring in order to look at the engraving on the inside. 

“Be mine till the stars go out.” 

Yeah, it was cheesy, but it was their promise. No matter what happened, no matter the stupid argument, they were going to stand together until the last of the stars died. Right?

“Hey, where’d Bubby go?” called out Benrey. Bubby stopped his contemplating and walked back over to his spot above the couch, appearing downhearted, but trying his best to hide it. “Alright buds, we are gonna start simple. But first, to fill you in Bubby, Tommy and the others just talked about their experiences with Gordon and Dr.Coomer, and we also talked about why a certain someone isn’t here.” Benrey looked away from the group and comfortingly rubbed his hand. “I think it is pretty obvious, honestly.”

Tommy chimed in with, “It’s alright Benrey. I-I don’t approve whatsoever of what my dad did to you. It just wasn’t right.” Tommy scratched the back of his neck, speaking again before finishing off his soda. “I don’t think we would want his kind of “help" anyways.”

There was a pause before Benrey spoke again. “Alright. lets…start simple. Let’s figure out…Black Mesa. What is our video game? We don’t even know that.” 

Forzen grumbled out “Yeah, that’s kinda sus, don’t you think? Why ain’t Dr.Freeman told us that?”

“I’ll try to find that out!” Tommy stood and moved towards the computer, while the rest either went to get new sodas or sat on the couch. Bubby decided it would be better to distract himself by investigating instead of just sitting around and thinking sad thoughts. He moved beside Tommy, pulling up the second office chair. 

“I hope I can help somehow.”

Darnold came with a new soda and a kitchen chair, pulling up on the other side of Tommy. “I am here to help as well!”

After turning on and logging into the computer, they tried to open the game on the desktop, called “HL_VR_AI.exe”, and was met with a popup window.

“Damn! After all the stuff Dad did, Mr.Freeman musta put a password on the file! To protect it! Well, what do we do now?”

Darnold suggested they search up the name in google, try to find it out that way. They tried many things, and got nothing that brought up useful answers until they searched “HL video game”. First search result: “Half-Life video games” on Wikipedia. They clicked it, and they all leaned in to read it. 

There was a lot of extra stuff, but the general gist of it was pretty simple. The Half-Life series was a series of video games supposed to be made by a company called “PipeWork studios”, but after a freak accident where a gas leak killed almost all of the lead developers, the company went under before even the first could be finished. The code was released to the public after a couple years, and many people have tried to finish it, but the code is said to be cursed. Due to this supposed “curse”, the code is rumored to change and manipulates itself on its own, making it near impossible to work with. Additionally, most people who try to end up turning up murdered, and the last to try, a large indie game developer named “Saemon Eeshawn”, went missing after he started five years ago.

“Damn, that’s pretty fucked up,” Bubby commented. 

“I guess Mr.Freeman must be a pretty good programmer to get us working.”

Darnold added “I thought Dr.Freeman was a geneticist and not a programmer? Click on the dead guy, let’s see a bit more.” 

They all turned back to the computer and were greeted with a photo of a man who bore a small resemblance to Tommy. Well, actually, just their haircuts were the same, but that’s it. He had short, neatly trimmed blond hair and bright blue eyes. They were a little round but still looked healthy. Bubby felt like he had seen their face somewhere before, but couldn’t tell where. They were strangely…familiar. 

This Saemon person had worked on many games before they disappeared, which was told to the press by his family as “them needing time away from the spotlight”, but it seemed almost confirmed by those trying to get information out of police, that they had gone missing. After about a year, the police put out a statement saying the family considered them deceased, and that they would be creating a fund in their name. Ever since there have been rumors of him being spotted, but since he was a recluse and almost always hid his face, he could easily look much different now from the few photos the press did have of him.

Bubby mocked the article. “So apparently our “cursed” game “kills” people. That’s great to know. Really helpful. Is there anything else useful?”

“Not that I can see,” Tommy responded. He cleared the search history and shut off the computer again, as Bubby went into the kitchen to grab himself a new drink. Tommy had taken his old spot above the couch, so he took Tommy’s and sat down beside Benrey. Bubby turned down the tv and watched it, zoning out while Tommy and Darnold explained to the others what they had found out. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.

“Wait, how did he get ahold of us in the first place? Wouldn’t there be, like, a package with the original version on it if Gordon was the one who…finished making us?” The others made small affirmative noises or nodded in agreement. “Well, let’s just look for that! I’ll search my room.”

Bubby groaned as he got up. “Guess I’ll look in Gordon’s. Been wanting to for a while honestly anyways.” Bubby was secretly also wanting to find something new and embarrassing to bug Gordon about. He walked into the small room as the others announced what parts they would search, such as the bathroom, office, or kitchen.

The first thing he noticed was how many orange things Gordon had. What the fuck? Was it like his favorite color or something? Must have been that. Bubby shrugged it off and moved through the room, searching the drawers of his dresser and nightstand. The only thing he found were letters from an ex named “Steph” and a child's drawings from “Joshua”. Oh, that kid was actually real? He considered using the information to bug Gordon until he found some more papers, legal documents. A missed court summons for “Stephanie”, missing person report for “Joshua”, and police reports about trying to find and arrest “Stephanie”. 

Oh…

Bubby wasn’t that much of an asshole.

He moved to the closet after putting the papers back, finding a small safe hidden underneath where his clothes were hanging. Unfortunately, it was locked, but Bubby spotted what looked like a piece of paper sticking out from under the door. After some maneuvering, he pulled it out and looked at it, realizing it was a picture. He looked over the picture, at the writing on the back, then back at the picture. Wait, no, that couldn’t be right. That couldn’t have been…and was that..Harold? 

“Oh god,” Bubby muttered to himself as he put his hands on his head, still holding the photo.

“Bubby? Did you find anything?” Benrey asked after hearing him. He could tell Benrey was walking over. Shit, what to do? Uhhh…now was not the time for this. This would just cause more problems and make more questions than it would solve. It hurt him to do it, but he put it into his pocket before pretending to have fallen and injured his back as Benrey entered. 

“Ughhh, just my damn back, Benrey. Tried to force the safe and hurt my back. I would tell you to do it, but Gordon would notice a missing door. I found nothing else, and trust me, I am the smartest, so I did it thoroughly.” Benrey was easily convinced and helped Bubby to his feet before they both left the room.

Bubby didn’t really hear anything the others said as they all convened again. Why did he do that? He was hiding it from them, valuable information…and yet. Every time he saw the image in his mind, he could feel his heart drop. He convinced himself that now was not the right time to do so, that he would just hide it somewhere safe until the time was right. Yeah. That’s what he would do. As they continued chatting, he looked down at his watch to check the time and…

Shit! Harold would be home in an hour, he had to get back and make dinner before then. Bubby told the others he had to leave, and they all waved goodbye as he took his jacket and went down the hall. 

He and Harold had the last apartment on the floor, which meant the longest walk, but also the nicest view. He could go over to their small deck at night and just look up at the stars, which he quite enjoyed doing. It reminded him of the good times, even with how few there were. 

As soon as he got inside and locked the door, Bubby was only able to shut the door and get his jacket onto the coat stand before he was overcome with emotion. He slid down against the door down onto the tiles as he sat there, crying into his hands. He knew no one would be able to see him like this, so he wasn’t afraid to let it all out. 

Why? Why would Harold betray his trust? When they had so much going for them now? When they were finally happy? Why lie, and to him of all people? Even when times were desperate, Harold might lie for them, but never to him. It just was unheard of. It had to be some sort of misunderstanding, right? Bubby pulled the photo out of his pocket and looked down at it again, desperate for answers. He should just destroy the damn thing, forget it ever even existed in the first place. He gripped the picture with his nails as he tried to burn it with his eyes. 

Then, something unexpected happened. For the first time since he exited the game, he watched as his left hand lit up with a bright flame. Bubby was shocked, as he didn’t think he could even do it anymore now. His surprise turned to fury as he concentrated on the image again. Yes, he was going to burn it, turn it to dust. Make the problem go away, simple as that. The fire crawled all over his arms as he felt his rage building, making its way over to the photo's edges. Yes! Flame it! Burn it to a crisp! Then it wouldn’t exist and his problems...his problems would still exist. Bubby stopped the flames just as they started to sear the edges, putting out his arms. Destroying it wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make things harder in the long run. He placed the photo back into his pocket reluctantly, just wishing he could go back and change things. Stop himself from doing something that would cost him greatly, like he had done many times before.

Bubby stood himself up slowly, and walked over to the deck, leaning over the edge and trying to clear his thoughts. After all, they’d been through, after all the promises they had made, why would he keep something from him? Harold had never kept anything from him, even if keeping it a secret would have been better. He tended to be loosed lipped in that way, eager to tell everyone the latest information he had found out. He remembered the biggest and only secret that he knew for sure Dr.Coomer had ever kept, reminiscing about that time long ago and how it compared to now. Things were so much different now, and yet still somehow similar. He just wanted the issues to go away, like before, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. It never happened like that. Not to them, the unlucky souls.

“Which one of you bastards did it? If none of you speak up soon, we WILL find the culprit ourselves and we WILL punish them in a way hundreds of times worse. So please, I’ll ask again, who let the damn alien child escape!?” The head of the department smacked a ruler against his hand with a large crack as he finished, making everyone jump a little. Bubby and Harold stood in line with the rest of the scientists from their department, as they were all interrogated. The “alien child” whom they would eventually come to know as Benrey, had been missed much more than they had expected. Today was supposed to be pleasant, Bubby’s first day back in the workplace after being experimented on for over a year, but it was nothing of the sort. 

There were soldiers and security guards all around, so they had nowhere to run. The continued silence caused the department head to get even angrier as he began again, taking it another step further.

“Alright, since you obviously refuse to talk, how about a little push?” He went over to a nearby assistant and grabbed a folder from them, pulling out large photos. They walked in front of the scientists, showing them, one by one, the pictures. It was a security camera footage from the night of the incident.   
“We had cameras all over the place. Not so smart now, eh? Look it over again and tell me if you recognize anyone. We have more footage, and we already have a good idea of who it is, so now this is your last chance to get any sort of leniency. If not, I can assure you, your punishment for not speaking up now and admitting what you did will be worse than you can imagine.”

The pictures were a little blurry and dark, but it would’ve only been obvious to the culprits themselves that it was them. Bubby nervously grabbed for Harold's hand behind his back as the head continued to pace back-and-forth in front of them. They knew it was them, obviously. What were they going to do? They had to do something! Otherwise, they were probably going to end up on the receiving end of some bullets soon. Bubby Tried to grab onto his hand again but was brushed off as Harold stood forward, away from him and the rest of the scientists. He held his hands tightly in front of him, nervous as he spoke up. What the hell was he doing?

“Oh...um...sir? I think I recognize the culprits! I would be happy to give you the names of the two individuals if you can promise me one small thing.”

What was he doing! He was going to ruin everything, get them killed! Why was he doing this? Did he want them to die!? Bubby went to step forward but stopped himself. Harold shot him a look, warning him to stay back. His eyes were filled with sorrow and acceptance as he turned back to the man in charge. 

“What is it?”

“The...second individual involved, they... were forced by the other to help. If I tell you who they are, will you only punish the first, as they were the ones who planned it?”

Wait, what was he doing? He couldn’t possibly be considering-

“It depends. Who is it? Out with their names, now, Dr.Coomer.”

Don’t you fucking dare, Harold! Don’t do it!

“I-it was me. And Dr.Bubby. I forced him to help me free the experiment, threatening to have him put back in for more experimentation if he didn’t help me. I know my actions are going to have serious consequences, but only wish that my mistakes be mine alone. I take full responsibility for my actions, but please, don’t make him suffer for in my place.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing as he stepped forwards towards Dr.Coomer. “Dr. Coomer, what are you saying? It was my idea to free the-”

Dr.Coomer interrupted him, pretending to be angry and exposed, but Bubby could easily see through his facade. His eyes seemed to cry out “It’s better this way” as he stared back into them.

“Dr. Bubby, please, stop trying to blame yourself for my actions. I know it hurts, finding out you have been used by someone you thought you trusted, but you have to stop. I need to do this, admit my faults.” He turned back to the person in charge. “Please disregard anything he says, he is just trying his best to protect me, because he cares about me. I don’t know why exactly I did it, but I will willingly face the consequences of my actions however you see fit. Just please, don’t punish him for my mistakes.”

The room fell silent as Bubby moved over to Harold, holding his shoulder with a hand and desperately trying to get him to look into his eyes. He got nothing but hopeless acceptance from Harold, as the department head began to speak again.

“Tsk tsk tsk. So it was you, the respectable Dr.Coomer? I would have never guessed. Honestly, the video was a bluff, we only ever got two photos of the culprits, but now we have our answer. I respect you, Dr. Coomer, and I respect your work, so I will respect your request. The experiment will not be punished. However, this does not give you a free pass. Follow me. It’s time to show you what the consequences of betraying Black Mesa are.”

As Dr.Coomer began to follow the man away, Bubby tried to stop him, standing in front of him and lighting up his hands. “I won’t let you do that, Dr.Coomer! Don’t take another step that way or else!”

Three security guards ran over and attempted to restrain Bubby, who fought them off, as Dr.Coomer turned to him with a calm, solemn demeanor. 

“Or else what? You’re going to hurt me?”

Bubby momentarily stopped struggling at the comment, which the guard behind him took as an opportunity to put him into a sleeper hold. As he watched Dr.Coomer solemnly turn to walk back, he reached up with his blazing hands and attempted to free himself by burning the arm pressed against his neck. The guard screamed out in pain as he felt his conciseness slowly fade, reaching out and calling to Dr.Coomer as a last-ditch effort to stop him.

“Please, don’t!”

And then everything faded to black.

He woke up, moments later, in a holding cell, where he was forced to stay for a few hours in order for him to “calm down” and “prevent him from interfering”. After this, he was escorted by a guard around the facility, who waited outside every room he went in as he did his usual duties. The whole time, there was only one thing on his mind, Harold. Eventually, he had to go grab something from his old lab, the tube room and noticed something out of the corner of his eye as he entered. He was too preoccupied with his job and worrying about Dr.Coomer that he didn’t look up to get a good look, just walking around to where the supplies he needed were.

“Oh, they replaced me already, eh? I didn’t think they would get someone that fast. Heh, what did you do to piss them off?” A chill ran down his spine as he heard a weak voice reply.

“B-Bubby?”

He whipped around, seeing Dr.Coomer sitting in the bottom of Benrey’s tube, without his lab coat, his upper arms bandaged in many spots. He looked distraught, filled with despair as Bubby dropped his clipboard and ran over to the glass.

“Harold! What hell did they do to you? Where have you been? Why are you...”

His thoughts trailed off as he noticed the familiar wounds on Dr.Coomer’s arms, and appeared horrified as he realized the cause. His eyes shot to the floor as he grabbed his own where he bore a matching set of scars.

“They’re…They’re making clones of you, aren’t they? Fucking bastards…”

As he heard Dr.Coomer choke back a sob, he shot over to the glass, crouching down, and placed his hands onto it. It was surreal, being on the other side for a change, comforting the one who had always been there for him in the past.

“It's all right. I’m here now.”

Dr.Coomer placed a hand on the glass against Bubby’s, eyes filled with tears. He jumbled through his words, trying to get his feelings heard.

“They made me…the papers…I’m just…the surface…property…”

“What? Try to take some deep breaths, Harold. What happened?”

Dr.Coomer took in a few slow deep breaths before he continued, much more seriously, but still just as distraught.

“They shot her, Bubby. They shot her right in front of me.”

“What? They shot who?”

“They told me I had to sign these papers, and I did, and then they told me I could never go to the surface again. That I am now Black Mesa property, and that they were going to “tie up loose ends” in order to make sure I wouldn’t try to leave. They brought her in and shot her Bubby! They took my wife. We’ve been apart for a year now, and I despise her, but she didn’t deserve that! They-they fucking shot her!”

Bubby honestly thought that Sharon did deserve what she got after all the grief she had caused Harold, but he wasn’t going to say that to him. Not now, at least.

He looked around the room, and then back at the controls, getting an idea. He turned and stood, saying “Don’t worry, I’m getting you out of there. Just wait a moment, and I’ll-”.

“No, wait! Don’t do that!”

Bubby turned back, shocked. “Why the fuck not?”

Dr.Coomer had jumped to his feet, with his hands on the glass, but quickly looked away from Bubby and crossed his arms. “Just leave. Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere!”

“Don't make this any harder than it already is. I don’t want to lose you too.”

“I can’t just sit by and do nothing when you’re suffering! Let me help you!”

“You can’t. Please, just leave, before I have to do something I don’t want to!”

Bubby was taken aback by his forwardness, but collected himself and stood his ground. “I’m not leaving you again, Harold.”

Dr.Coomer took in a deep breath and straightened himself up, before speaking again. “I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”

“Don’t do this to yourself!”  
Harold shot Bubby a look of despair and acceptance again as he spoke once more.

“It’s better this way.”

“Harold…”

Before Bubby had the chance to finish, Dr.Coomer turned to the door and yelled out.

“Help! Guards! This scientist is trying to disrupt my experiment!”

The guard outside ran in and grabbed onto Bubby’s arm. “You’re trying to free an experiment again, eh? Guess old habits die hard. C’mon, we will get your supplies somewhere else, doctor. Rules are rules.” This guard was friendlier than the others, but was, much like the other guards, a stickler for the rules. He picked up Bubby’s clipboard and began to lead him out of the room. 

Bubby let himself be led out of the room, as he knew not doing so would just make things worse, but kept his eyes on Dr.Coomer as he left. They had turned their back to Bubby as he left, only looking back at Bubby regretfully in the last second before the door closed.

And then he didn’t see him again for almost a week. Every night, he could barely sleep, worried sick about Harold. All the guards prevented him from going to the tube room from then on, but on the sixth day, the guards seemed to forget about him needing to be watched. One of his other friends told Bubby during his lunch break that they had seen Dr.Coomer being wheeled on a stretcher, looking badly injured, earlier that day. This news caused Bubby to immediately sneak off, heading to the tube room. As he entered, he noticed the layout had been changed. Bubby’s tube was now in the middle of the room, and Benrey’s was missing. Oh god. Removal of equipment usually meant only one thing… the intended user was dead or missing.

He quickly and quietly snuck through the halls, peeking into each room he passed. He nervously checked the morgue, luckily nothing. He kept going, room after room, and yet… no clues. Nothing, that was, until he walked into the “Operating theatre”. There, he saw something that chilled him to the bone beside an operating table soaked with blood. It was Dr.Coomer’s lab coat. What had they fucking done to him? 

Bubby grabbed it, holding it close and confirming the name on the pocket of the jacket. “Dr.H.P.Coomer” was embroidered on it, and the upper arms were covered in dried blood. He held it close to him as he contemplated the worst. His anger was overpowered by his overwhelming grief. They had killed him, hadn’t they? Strapped him to a table, cut him open, and let him bleed out. It must have been a horrible way to go out, dying painfully and alone, far away from the one you love. If only he had found out sooner, maybe he would have been able to stop it. 

Maybe, at least, he would have been able to say goodbye one last time.

As he exited the room, face soaked with tears, and tightly holding the coat to his chest, he saw the room adjacent and had a thought. The sign above the door read “Recovery beds”. Could he… be he still alive? Bubby ran into the room, immediately spotting Coomer lying on one of the beds, in a hospital gown, almost motionless. His eyes welled with tears as he struggled to contain his happiness.

“Harold! Is that really you?” He ran over to the side of the bed, gently caressing Dr.Coomer’s face as he began to cry. “I thought I had lost you!”

Dr.Coomer looked as if he had been sleeping up until a moment after Bubby finished. His eyes shot open, looking at Bubby, and he blurted out “Hello Bubby!”. He seemed to have a moment of realization as he spoke again, smiling sorrowfully.

“Bubby? Am I dreaming? It’s so good too- Arg!” Dr.Coomer tried to sit up but yelled out in pain after only moving an inch up off the bed. Bubby caught him before he fell back again, and looked him over with extreme worry. Dr.Coomer was limp everywhere except for his head. “The pain..its too much, I can’t...Can you hold me?” Bubby happily abridged, wrapping his arms around him carefully but closely, as to not cause him any more pain.

As Bubby’s hand brushed past Dr.Coomer’s forearm, he could immediately tell something felt off. That…that was not flesh. He pulled back and gave him a concerned look as he spoke.

“What was that?” 

“What was what? I can’t feel anything, Bubby. It hurts too much.”

Bubby’s eyes widened as he used one hand to rip back the sheet off of Harold, gasping in horror at the sight. Dr.Coomer’s arms and legs were missing, replaced by metal versions from just above the joint. The wounds slowly leaked blood onto the mattress, as Dr.Coomer was able to see what had horrified Bubby so much. He chuckled as he spoke, in shock.

“Oh, I guess that’s why I can’t feel them.” Dr.Coomer’s laughter turned to sobbing as he broke down into tears. Bubby hushed Harold gently as he held him close again, gently stroking the back of his head as he tried to hold back tears of his own.

“Shhh…It-Its going to be okay… I’m not leaving you. Never again. I’m never gonna let them hurt you again. Never!”

As he pressed his eyes shut hard, he felt Harold raise a strained, shaky arm slowly, letting out painful whines as a cold metallic hand gently caressed Bubby’s face. Dr.Coomer regretful sigh as he muttered to himself.

“You deserve so much better than me.”

“Shut up. Please, shut up.”

“But-”

“I deserve this, not you. It should have been me!”

There was a moment of silence before Bubby spoke again, with his eyes now open.

“I’m not leaving, Harold. So please, stop arguing with me. You need to rest, so you can heal.”

Bubby’s hand brushed over something wet on the back of Dr.Coomer’s head at that moment. He quickly peered over at his hand. More blood, and a small wound that had been bandaged. Had they done something to his brain too? 

“Bubby?” Harold’s voice and weak attempt to pull back from him interrupted his thoughts. He pulled back and looked into their eyes, soaked with tears as Harold rubbed his cheek softly.

“Yes?”

“Bubby…I love you.” He bore a somber smile as he gazed deep into Bubby’s eyes.

“I love you too, Harold. I always will.” 

They both smiled tearfully at each other before Dr.Coomer gently pulled Bubby into a soft kiss. Both of them had been dating for months now but this was different. Everything was different now.

Bubby gently laid Dr.Coomer back down onto the bed, pulling up a chair and sitting down beside him. They just sat there, staring into each other's eyes filled with hope and pain, until suddenly Dr.Coomer winced uncomfortably. 

“I never truly realized what you meant by it till now. Till I experienced it for myself. It feels terrible, Bubby.”

Bubby, slightly confused, asked “What? I don’t understand.”

“The clones, Bubby. I can feel myself weakening with each one they make. It’s like they are ripping out a piece of my soul.”

Bubby scratched the back of his head. “Oh, yeah. That. I fucking hate that.”

“I sorry I didn’t believe you when you said it all that time ago. I swear to you Bubby, I’ll never make another damn clone again. Never again.”

Bubby nodded, pleased by the promise. Dr.Coomer always kept his promises, and this meant he didn’t have to worry about any more prototypes, at least coming from Dr.Coomer.

There was more silence as they sat there again, this time with Dr.Coomer peering around the room. He looked over and saw his lab coat, causing his eyes to light up. “Bubby, hand me my lab coat, please. There’s something I need to show you!”

He willingly obliged, following Dr.Coomer’s instructions in order to find a small hidden pocket on the inside.

“I got them the...last time I went to the surface...which will probably be the last time I ever went there...but I hope you like them. I know they aren’t much, but I just haven’t had the time to-”

“I love it. They’re perfect!”

Bubby’s eyes widened with delight as he held two simple gold wedding bands, each engraved with the words “Be mine till the stars go out.”. He slipped one ring onto his own finger, and the other onto Harold’s, holding their hands together as he laid his head onto their chest. Things were terrible, horribly far from perfect, and yet they were happy.

From now on, there was nothing that could keep them apart. Whatever problems would come their way, they would face them, together.

Bubby sighed and checked the time as he melancholically reminisced on the past. He had to start dinner now, it was getting late. As he gathered the ingredients, he continued contemplating thoughts in the background.   
Black Mesa never seemed to have a problem with them being together. Sure, some people would stare and didn’t approve, but the bosses were indifferent to their relationship, which meant they got a pass. As long as they stayed in line, as long as they continued their top secret and questionably legal research work, Black Mesa didn’t care. The more he considered it, the more an uncomfortable thought became clear...they were legally owned Black Mesa back then, right? They were just numbers on a scale, dots on a graph. He realized that it wasn’t that Black Mesa didn’t care what they would do as long as they behaved, it was that Black Mesa didn’t care how it, their property, got its work done. They weren’t people anymore. They weren’t “them” anymore, they were just property, to be used and managed. And as long as your assets did the job they were supposed to do, that’s all that mattered. It wasn’t that they stood out as much as it was that they didn’t.

He shook off the chilling thoughts and continued cooking, contemplating the picture as he continued. Bubby decided that, if Harold asked, he would answer them honestly, but otherwise he would say nothing. Not a word. You’re not technically keeping a secret if you aren’t trying to, he told himself. 

After finishing up the last bits to make their dinner and putting it in the oven, he turned on the tv in the living room and began watching the latest episode of “Wheel of Fortune” from the couch. He had almost completely forgotten about the picture and his doubts until the moment he heard Harold arrive home.

“The food is in the oven, Harold. Come watch the television, Pat Sajak is on!”

“Of course, dear. I’ll be there in a minute.” 

Dr.Coomer took off his jacket and went to hang it up along with his lab coat when he noticed something sticking out of Bubby’s lab coat pocket. A little snooping on his husband never usually did any harm, as he could always just pretend to be surprised if it was meant for later. As he pulled it out, he immediately regretted it. 

Oh. 

The jig was up then. It was all over now.

He felt the ring on his hand solemnly as he dreaded the worse, but then Harold realized something. Had he only found the photo? No information, no context? That must have been what had happened because Bubby didn’t seem mad at him at all. It seemed he had some time left before the inevitable happened after all. Some time left till everything was lost. He looked over the picture, contemplative as to what to do next. Should he throw it away, burn it, rip it to shreds? 

No, sadly, he already knew what would be best. He put back the photo exactly the way he had found it, barely making a sound as he did it, before putting his jacket and lab coat over top of Bubby’s. There. He had never seen it. It didn’t exist anymore, and everything was normal now. There were no questions, no worries, just him and Bubby, having dinner on a Friday evening.

Bubby was getting worried. Oh fuck, he had left it in his lab coat, hadn’t he? They were going to ask questions, going to fight. Bubby clenched his teeth. He didn’t want a fight, didn’t want to yell at him. He didn’t want to hate Harold. He didn’t want that. Not now, not ever. Bubby crossed his arms and dug his nails into his upper arms as he spoke, trying his best to sound calm.

“Harold? What’s wrong over there? What’s taking you so long, you’re missing the damn show!”

“S-sorry dear, I just dropped my coat. I will be just another minute!” 

That was a lie. No, wait, he wouldn’t lie about something that simple. He must have just been overthinking things. Everything was good, right? Fine, he would prove everything was alright. He would ask Harold, directly.

Dr.Coomer took a deep breath and put on a smile. He was happy after all, just had a sinking feeling in his stomach now that didn’t want to go away. A sinking feeling of guilt and regret that ate him up inside more and more with every passing second. He sat on the couch next to Bubby and tried to give him a kiss, but Bubby gently held him away by his shoulder, while looking down at the ring on his other hand.

“Harold.”

“Y-yes, dear? What’s wrong?”

Bubby looked up into Dr.Coomer’s eyes, a hint of despair seeming to flow through them. 

“You…you wouldn’t lie to me, right? Never hide anything from me, even if it was really important?”

“Of course not, dear! Why would you ever think that?” he lied. “I love you, and we have to work as a team from now on. Just like you said back in Black Mesa!”

Bubby appeared a little consoled by the statement, but in reality, he just had managed to bury his doubts. “Yeah, just like we promised in Black Mesa. Let's get back to the show now, alright?”

Dr.Coomer nodded and wrapped an arm around the thinner man, leaning in close. Bubby leaned in as well, his head gently resting on top of Dr.Coomer’s. Yes, this was nice, no, this was perfect. This was how it was supposed to be. Just him and Bubby, till the stars went out. No questions and no answers, no whispers or secret meetings. Even if he knew it was all lies.

It was a nice feeling, even if both of them knew it wasn’t right. They knew soon, something would happen that might change everything, might destroy everything they held dear. But that was not now. That was later, a future far away, where things were complex and uncertain. 

Right now, it was simple. Just two broken sweethearts, watching some TV after a long day at work.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys! I hope you enjoyed this! Please feel free to leave suggestions and criticisms in the comments! I know it may get sad or dark at times but be assured the story is not really going to be very sexual or heavy at any point due to my style of writing! I would love any art of this to just be tagged with my insta account (@kitty.kitty707) if you want to make any so I can send love! Thanks!


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